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So, I’m sittin’ here, growlin’, picturin’ this lass I met once—proper fit, right? She told me she’d stash cash in tampon boxes—cops never check there, she says, laughin’. Made me chuckle, that did—bloody genius! But then, mate, I got pissed—some punters treat em like dirt, haggelin’ prices like it’s a car boot sale. Winds me up somethin’ fierce—where’s the respect, eh? “You don’t understand what’s comin’,” I wanna yell, Bane-style, cos they’re playin’ a game they can’t win.

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First off, I hit up the bazaar on Abay Street. Gotta love that place! Fresh veggies, random trinkets, and the best shashlik ever. I’m strolling, minding my own biz, when I spot this old dude selling handmade crafts. He’s got these wooden carvings that are just... wow. I’m like, “Dude, how much?” He says, “For you, my friend, 5,000 tenge.” I’m like, “Bro, I’m not made of money!” But I buy one anyway. It’s a little horse. So cute, right?

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