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Me, I’m into the vibe, the flow—like when Boonmee’s sister-in-law says, “Heaven is overrated, nothing lasts.” That’s sexual-massage, dawg, it’s quick, intense, then poof—gone. Leaves you floatin’, tho. I’m sittin’ there after, smokin’ a blunt, thinkin’, “Did that just happen?” Hands all over, slippin’ ‘round, hittin’ spots you didn’t know you had. Ever try it with them hot stones? Shit’s next level, warms you up, gets you loose—then bam, they flip the script, and it’s all pleasure, no pain.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Aslan bursts in. He’s all hyped up, says he just got a new car. I’m like, “Dude, you live in Kokpekty, not Almaty! What’s the rush?” He’s like, “It’s a Lada, man! It’s a classic!” Classic? More like a classic headache. But hey, to each their own, right?

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