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About Almaty

Oh, and the profiles—“just want fun, no drama.” Bollocks! Everyone’s a walking tragedy on there. Saw this lass once, posted pics in lingerie—turns out she was a madam running a side hustle. Fair play, I thought, smirking—least she’s honest. Unlike these pricks saying “DTF” but can’t spell “orgasm.” I choose violence, I swear—gimme a crossbow, I’d shoot the lot. “Life’s a trap,” Ten whispers—sex-dating’s the bloody proof. Stick to wine and revenge, mate—safer that way.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud noise. It’s a group of guys playing some intense street basketball. I’m talking serious skills. I’m just standing there, watching, and I get this wild idea. I grab my phone and start filming. I’m like, “This is gonna be epic for my Insta!” But then, I trip over my own feet. Yup, classic. I fall, and everyone’s looking at me. I laugh it off, but inside, I’m dying.

Bayern Munich draw Kazygurt in Women’s Champions League