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The apps, tho—they’re rigged! Algorithms screwin’ ya, pushin’ fake profiles. I read somewhere—dunno, X maybe?—that 20% of users might be bots. Bots! I’m flirtin’ with a robot, picturin’ some coder laughin’ at me. Pisses me off! But then I score a date, and it’s “pretty, pretty good” again—total high. Like gleanin’ potatoes after harvest, ya find one good one, and it’s gold.

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Profile info (full profile only registered users): Hi, i am May Age: Kazakhstan in Karaton i brazzers noelle easton love bathroom.

So, I’m sitting on a bench, nursing my bruised ego, when I see this street performer. He’s juggling flaming torches, and I’m like, “Okay, that’s cool.” But then he drops one! Fire everywhere! I’m freaking out, thinking, “Is this how I die? In Karaton, by a flaming juggler?” But the dude’s quick, puts it out, and everyone’s cheering. I’m just sitting there, half impressed, half terrified.

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