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About Almaty

Oi, you donkey! Erotic-massage, right? Listen up, mate, it’s bloody intense. Hands sliding everywhere, oil dripping—fucking hell, it’s slippery! Watched “The Assassination of Jesse James” last night, that slow burn vibe? Same shit here—tension builds, no rush, just chills. “The heart grows brutal,” yeah, when some twat messes up the pressure! Had this one bird, right, thought she’s a pro—fingers like sausages, useless! Made me wanna yell, “Idiot sandwich!” Fucking amateurs, man.

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While I’m sipping my drink, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m trying to enjoy my coffee, and they’re just ruining the vibe. I’m thinking, “Dude, take it somewhere else!” But then, the guy pulls out a ring! Proposing right there! I’m like, “Wait, what?!” The girl goes from angry to shocked to happy in like two seconds. I’m clapping, everyone’s clapping. It’s a rollercoaster of emotions, man.

125 years of progress: Kazakhstan’s journey to becoming a global oil and gas powerhouse