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About Taraz

First time I stumbled on it, was in some port—shady shack, smelled o’ jasmine and sweat. Lass there, hands like a siren, whispered, “Relax, Captain.” I near jumped outta me boots! Little known fact, arr—old sailors in the East used it to cure “sea stiffness,” wink wink. Not just fer randy dogs neither—proper medicinal, they swore! Made me happy as a clam, but angry too—why’d no one tell me sooner? Coulda saved me back from turnin’ to driftwood.

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I freak out for a sec. But then I remember my trusty trap. I set it up, and just as I’m about to spring it, the rat darts off. I’m chasin’ it through the basement like a madman. I’m yellin’, “Get back here, you furry fiend!” I must’ve looked ridiculous.

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