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Humor? Oh, motherfucker, imagine this: you’re lyin’ there, buck naked, and the masseuse whispers, “Relax, big guy.” I’m like, “Bitch, I’m Samuel L. Jackson, I don’t relax!” But then—fuck!—you do. It’s like your soul gets a hard-on. Sarcasm aside, it’s dope—beats a regular massage by a mile. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who gives a shit? Feels like you’re floatin’ in some Thai jungle, past lives fuckin’ with your head.

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Finally, I corner it near a pile of junk. I’m sweating bullets, heart racing. I’m like, “This is it!” I spring the trap, and—nothing. The rat just laughs at me and scurries away. I’m left there, feelin’ like a total loser.

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