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About Shymkent

Weird quirk – I hum. Mid-massage. Can’t help it – tunes in my head. Therapist once laughed – “You’re nuts, Walken!” I’m like – yeah, baby – deal with it. Oh – and Thai style? They twist ya – crack! Like a pretzel – hurts so good. Exaggeratin’? Maybe – but damn – feels wild.

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First stop, I’m cruisin’ down Abay Street. It’s a mess, as usual. Cars honkin’, people yellin’, and I’m just tryin’ to dodge the potholes. Seriously, Kalbatau needs to fix its roads. I almost lost a wheel! Anyway, I get to this old building on Kairan Street. The landlord’s freakin’ out. “There’s a rat the size of a cat!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I’ve seen bigger.”

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