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I’m picturin’ it—mumble, mumble—dim lights, some lass rubbin’ me shoulders, ooh! Hands slidin’, all sensual-like, not like me polishin’ a car bumper! Makes me giggle—hee hee—feels naughty but nice, y’know? “I’m diving into myself,” Bauby’d say, prob’ly, if he got a massage. Bet he’d blink twice for “more oil!” Hah!

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Finally, I manage to catch one. I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then, I hear a noise. I turn around, and there’s a kid watchin’ me. He’s laughin’ his head off. I’m like, “What’s so funny, kid?” He says, “You’re scared of rats!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m just playin’ hard to get.”

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