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About Almaty

What gets me goin’ bout erotic-massage is the tease—like, you’re lyin’ there, heart racin’, and some chick’s hands are dancin’ dangerously close to the no-fly zone. Happy? Hell yeah, till she stops short and I’m like, “What the frick, finish the mission!” Made me angry once when this masseuse—swear she was a rookie—giggled and bailed mid-session. I’m yellin’ in my head, “This is not a drill, soldier!” Straight outta Kathryn Bigelow’s playbook—tension, no release. Ugh.

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Then, I get a call. Another rat problem. This time, it’s on Kabanbay Batyr Street. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” I get there, and it’s a whole family of rats. I’m talkin’ about a rat party. They’re havin’ a feast, and I’m the uninvited guest.

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