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Now, tho, it’s all digital. You slide into DMs, tryna be smooth. But here’s the kicker – 70% of profiles got fake pics! Catfish city, baby! Gets me mad as hell – why lie? Be real! Like Carol and Therese, starin’ at each other across that counter, no filters, just heat. “What a strange girl you are,” Carol says. That’s what I think when I see these bots tryna sex-date me. Surprised me first time, now I just laugh.

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After that, I decided to hit up the market on Sovetskaya Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m strolling through, and I see this old lady selling the biggest apples I’ve ever seen. I’m talking, like, “Is that an apple or a small planet?” I had to buy one. It was juicy, sweet, and totally worth it.

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