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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin Program Director, sittin in me grand office, cigar in hand, ponderin the mighty art of sexual-massage. It’s a battlefield, I tell ya! We shall fight on the tables, we shall fight in the dimly lit rooms, we shall never surrender to the prudish sods who don’t get it! Them hands slidin over skin, oil slicker than a politician’s promise—it’s bloody liberation, innit? Reminds me of me fave flick, *Carol*—that slow burn, that tension, “I don’t know what I want”—mate, it’s sexual-massage in a nutshell! You’re lost, then bam, euphoria hits ya.

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We head out, and it’s all chill for a bit. But then, the waves start getting rough. I’m holding on for dear life, and Aslan’s laughing at me. I’m like, “Dude, this isn’t funny!” But then, I see a dolphin jump outta the water. I’m like, “Whoa! Did you see that?!” Suddenly, I forget about being scared. Nature is wild, man.

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