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So, check this—erotic-massage ain’t just ‘bout gettin’ them kinks out ya neck. It’s all sensual, slow, and steamy—like somebody tryna whisper sweet nothins’ with they fingers! I heard tell, back in ancient times, them Egyptians was doin’ this with oils smellin’ like jasmine and whatnot—pharaohs gettin’ freaky on they gold beds! Ain’t that a trip? Got me hollerin’, “Well, slap me silly, that’s wild!” Nowadays, folks pay big money—hundreds!—to lay there naked, lettin’ some stranger rub ‘em down. I’m like, “Honey, you better be cute for that price!”

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Finally, I get the bookshelf done. It’s not perfect, but it’s got that rustic vibe. Aigul’s all smiles, and I’m feelin’ like a rockstar. But then, she says, “Can you add some leaves?” Leaves? I’m about to lose it! I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a botanist!”

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