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Fear leads to anger… got pissed off hearin’ folks trash it, like, “Oh, it’s just glorified hanky-panky!” Nah, bollocks to that! It’s intimate, sure, but there’s power in it – vulnerability, trust, like in “The Master” when Lancaster Dodd’s all, “What’s your name? Tell me!” – that control, that give-and-take. Makes me happy seein’ it done right, tho – proper sensual, respectful, not some sleazy back-alley rub. Surprised me how some therapists train years for this, mate – YEARS! Not just a quick grope-and-go.

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But then, just when I think it can’t get crazier, I spot my buddy, Askar, across the street. He’s tryin’ to sell these weird-looking fruits. I’m like, “What the heck are those?” He’s all, “They’re called ‘shalgam’!” I’m like, “Dude, they look like alien eggs!” But he swears they’re delicious. I’m skeptical, but I buy one. Spoiler alert: it was gross.

‘His family robbed the country’: personality cult of ex-Kazakh leader crumbles | Kazakhstan