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About Astana

Oi mate, gather round! Sexual-massage, yeah? It’s bloody brilliant, aint it? Like a grand ol’ battle—*we shall fight* on the tables, *we shall fight* with them oils! I’m tellin ya, it’s a war ‘gainst stress, a bleedin triumph of the flesh! Me fave flick, *Inside Out*—you know, that Pete Docter gem from 2015—its all bout them emotions runnin wild in yer head. Sexual-massage? Same deal! Joy’s dancin, Sadness is sulkin, Anger’s fumin when the masseuse is late—*“This is not how it’s supposed to be!”*—like Riley’s brain on a bad day.

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As the night goes on, I meet this girl. She’s cool, funny, and totally gets my sarcasm. We’re vibing, laughing, and then she says something that surprises me. “You know, Burunday has its charm.” I’m like, “For real? You think so?” And she nods. It hits me – maybe I’ve been too harsh on this city.

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