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About Astana

So, sex-dating—apps, sites, all that jazz. Tinder, Bumble, fuckin’ Grindr if ya swing that way—pure chaos, mate! *slurs* Sharon, where’s me phone? Ya make a profile, toss up a pic—none o’ that blurry 90s shit—and ya dive in. Little known fact, right? Back in the 80s, folk used newspaper ads for this! “Single lad, 30, seeks bird for shaggin’”—mental, eh? Now it’s all instant, bam, nudes in ya inbox. Gets me blood pumpin’, but fuckin’ hell, the catfishin’—pisses me off! Some twat with a fake pic, reckonin’ they’re a 10. Mate, I’d rather shag a goat than meet that liar.

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But then, I spot a stray dog. Poor thing looks like it hasn’t eaten in days. My heart breaks. I can’t just leave it there! So, I go to the nearest shop on Kairbekov Street and grab some bread. I’m like, “Here you go, buddy!” The dog looks at me like I’m a hero or something. It’s a small win, but it made my day a bit brighter.

RIMSKY-KORSAKOV The Legend of the Invisible City of Kitezh