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Sarcasm time—oh yeah, erotic-massage fixes EVERYTHIN’. Back hurts? Rub it sexy. Mad at the world? Rub it sexy. Hilarious, right? Still, it’s kinda artsy—like Lynch’s film. All shadowy, mysterious, hands goin’ places ya didn’t expect. “This is the girl,” I’d say, pointin’ at some masseuse who knows her stuff. Gets me all tingly just thinkin’ it.

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But then, outta nowhere, a storm rolled in. I mean, one minute it’s sunny, the next it’s like the sky’s throwing a tantrum. I grabbed my stuff and ran for cover. I ducked into this little café on Lenin Street. The vibe was cozy, and the coffee? Oh man, it was like a warm hug.

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