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Alright, mate, strap in! Me, Dr. Evil, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” here to yap about sexual-massage. Got my radio cracklin’, spillin’ the tea on this steamy biz. Sexual-massage, yeah? Hands roamin’, oil flowin’, tension goin’ bye-bye—sounds lush, right? Like WALL-E cleanin’ up Earth, but dirtier, ha! “WALL-E, WALL-E!”—that lil’ robot’s got nothin’ on this vibe.

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First off, I roll into town, and it’s like, “Whoa, where am I?” Bulayevo’s got this vibe, ya know? It’s small but packed with life. I hit up the main street, Abay Street, and it’s buzzing. People everywhere, cars honking, and I’m just trying to find my way. I’m used to the quiet of the forest, not this chaos!