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Okay, so boom—little known fact, betcha didn’t know: ancient Greeks were *all* about this! Called it “sensual touch therapy,” some fancy-ass term. Dudes in togas just slidin’ hands, no shame! Makes me happy as hell—history’s freaky, yo! But what pisses me off? These stuck-up spas chargin’ $200 for a “happy ending” vibe—man, fuck that noise! Gimme a homie with coconut oil and zero judgment, I’m set!

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Then, I head over to the market on Kairbekov Street. It’s packed with stalls selling everything from fresh veggies to handmade crafts. I’m checking out some local honey when this old lady starts yelling at a vendor. I can’t catch all the words, but I get the vibe. She’s not happy about the price. Classic, right? I’m standing there, trying not to laugh. It’s like a scene from a movie.