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Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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Then, I head over to the market on Kairbekov Street. It’s packed with stalls selling everything from fresh veggies to handmade crafts. I’m checking out some local honey when this old lady starts yelling at a vendor. I can’t catch all the words, but I get the vibe. She’s not happy about the price. Classic, right? I’m standing there, trying not to laugh. It’s like a scene from a movie.