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But yo, it pisses me off sometimes—these clowns on apps, lyin’ bout height, dick size, all that. I’m sittin’ here like, “Be *you*, fam!”—like Linguini tryna fake it ‘til he makes it, but nah, be real! Ghostin’ too—had this chick dip on me mid-chat, no warning, like, what?! Made me wanna yell, “I’m a genius, respect the art!”—but I just swiped again, ha! Keep it movin’, that’s the game.

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Then, I head over to the market on Kairbekov Street. It’s packed with stalls selling everything from fresh veggies to handmade crafts. I’m checking out some local honey when this old lady starts yelling at a vendor. I can’t catch all the words, but I get the vibe. She’s not happy about the price. Classic, right? I’m standing there, trying not to laugh. It’s like a scene from a movie.