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Tie it to the movie, tho—Adam’d be all moody, “This is too physical,” broodin’ in his Detroit crib, but Eve? She’d be down, smilin’ that sly grin, “Let’s feel alive again,” while them hands work magic. Me, I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ gin, thinkin’, “Erotic-massage is art, yo.” Ain’t no quick happy-endin’ bullshit—nah, it’s slow, deliberate, like a dope beat buildin’. Funniest shit? Dudes think it’s all ‘bout the D, but nah, it’s whole-body tingles, fam!

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Then, the day takes a turn. I’m heading back to my car when I see this stray dog. He’s just chilling, looking all sad. I can’t resist. I pull out some of my apples and offer him one. He sniffs it, looks at me like I’m crazy, and walks away. I’m like, “Dude, it’s a free snack!” But whatever, I guess he’s not into apples.