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What gets me hyped? The tech of it—those pressure points? Mapped tighter than a Starlink constellation. Happy as hell when they hit that spot—ya know, the one that’s like, “I am a free man!”—boom, Chiwetel Ejiofor vibes from the flick. But man, I got pissed once—dude was half-assin’ it, like a Boring Company intern on day one. I’m like, bro, commit or GTFO, this ain’t a Tesla recall. Surprised me how some spots—uh, lower quadrant—can zap ya awake faster than a triple espresso. Meme alert: “When she says ‘just a massage’ but now you’re broke and callin’ her ‘senpai.’”

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First off, I’m cruising down Abay Street, thinking about grabbing some breakfast at that little café, you know, the one with the weird name? “Kofe i Kasha” or something. I get there, and it’s packed! Like, who knew everyone in Bayanaul was a breakfast fanatic? I mean, I love my kasha, but c’mon! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, and this lady in front of me orders, like, a million things. I’m like, “Lady, it’s breakfast, not a buffet!”

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