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Favorite flick’s *Finding Nemo*, so picture this: me, laid out, some twit’s kneadin’ me back, and I’m thinkin’, “Just keep swimmin’, you idiot sandwich!” Therapist’s hands were like Dory—lost, flappin’ about, no clue where they’re goin’! Made me laugh, though—happy as a pig in shit when they hit that sweet spot. Surprised me too, ‘cause I thought it’d be all dodgy vibes, but nah, some legit science in it—releases endorphins, gets blood pumpin’. Still, half the time it’s a con! Overpriced rubbish—£80 for some numpty to paw ya? “You’re an embarrassment to the ocean!” I’d shout.

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But then, I get a text from my buddy. He’s stuck in traffic on Kyzylorda Street. I mean, who isn’t? It’s always a mess there. I’m like, “Dude, just walk!” But he’s too lazy. Classic.

Project ALAŇ: Renovation of football fields without budget funds