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So check it, I tried it once, right? Some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin like mad—smelled like jasmine or somethin fancy. She’s kneadin my back, brother, and I’m like, “Hulkamania’s risin, dude!” Made me happy as hell, tension gone, but I got pissed too—why ain’t this mainstream, huh? People out here stressin when they could be glowin! Little fact for ya—ancient Greeks did this, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin down athletes after wrestlin matches. Bet they felt like champs, brother!

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Finally, I get to the office, and guess what? My computer crashes. Just my luck, right? I’m staring at the screen like it owes me money. I’m sweating bullets, thinking about all the clients I need to call back. Ugh!

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