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Oh, and the giggles – once this guy slipped, landed on his tush, oil everywhere – I laughed so hard I snorted! Total mess, but sexy mess, ya dig? Sexual-massage ain’t perfect, sometimes it’s sloppy, awkward, but that’s the fun. “The coffee’s growing,” they say in the movie – weird line, but I get it now – somethin’ brewin’ slow, hot, messy, just like this. So, hun, grab some oil, find a cutie, and dive in – Marilyn says so, breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President!”

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Then, outta nowhere, this girl storms in. She’s fuming, like a kettle about to boil. Turns out, she just got dumped. I mean, who breaks up in the rain? That’s just cruel. So, I whip up a “Heartbreak Special” – it’s just a strong whiskey with a splash of bitters. She downs it like it’s water. I’m thinkin’, “Girl, slow down!” But she’s on a mission. Next thing I know, she’s crying and laughing at the same time. It’s a whole emotional rollercoaster, and I’m just the bartender trying to keep it together.

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