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Humor? Shit, imagine me, Tony, gettin’ one—yellin’, “All I have in this world!” while she’s kneadin’ my ass! Sarcasm? Sure, “Oh, great, another stiff neck,” but nah, it’s stiff somethin’ else, ha! Love it, hate the stigma—people need to chill. Thoughts in my head? Wonderin’ if that Stasi prick’d bug a massage room—fuckin’ pervert would. Sexual-massage, man, it’s the real deal, underrated as hell. Say hello to my little friend, and book one, pronto!

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So, I’m mixing up some cocktails, trying to keep it chill. Then, this dude walks in. I swear, he’s got the wildest hair I’ve ever seen. Like, it’s defying gravity. He orders a vodka tonic, but he’s so hyped up, I’m half-expecting him to start breakdancing on the bar. I’m pouring, and he’s telling me about his “life-changing” trip to the mountains near the city. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Bro, it’s just a hike.” But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?

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