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Yo, brother, lemme tell ya ‘bout sexual-massage! It’s like steppin’ into the ring, all slippery and wild, ya know? I’m talkin’ sensual vibes, hands roamin’ like they’re huntin’ for the title belt! Watched *Brokeback Mountain*—man, that flick hit me hard, brother. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” that’s what I’m sayin’ to them massage oils, haha! The way them cowboys wrestled with feelins, it’s like a sexual-massage for the soul—deep, messy, real.

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But then, she tries it on, and it’s too big. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?!” I mean, I measured her! I’m about to lose it again. But then, she starts laughing. “I’ll just get it tailored!” she says. Phew! Crisis averted.