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Anyway, she’s kneadin’ my back, slidin’ lower, and I’m like, “Hey, hey, boundaries, lady!” But also, “Don’t stop!” Neurotic rant time: I’m sweatin’, overthinkin’—is this legal? Am I a perv now? What if Cheryl finds out? Oh, wait, we’re divorced—screw it! Felt like Betty in “Mulholland Drive,” all innocent, then—pow!—dark and twisted. “I’m in love with this girl!”—me, yellin’ that in my head about the masseuse. Ridiculous!

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So, I finally grab some carrots and head over to the Bayterek Tower. Man, that thing is tall! I mean, I’ve seen it a million times, but it still blows my mind. I’m sittin’ on a bench, munchin’ on a snack, when I see this couple takin’ selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Get a room, people!” But then, I can’t help but smile. Love is in the air, I guess.

Fortunato, Poels & Scaroni lead ambitous and in-form XDS Astana Team for 2025 Giro d'Italia