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About Ust-Kamenogorsk

Alright, y’all, listen up! I’m George W. Bush, agronomist extraordinaire, talkin’ ‘bout sex-dating—yep, that wild world of hookin’ up online! Now, I ain’t no stranger to diggin’ in the dirt, but this? This is a whole ‘nother field! Sex-dating’s like plantin’ seeds—sometimes ya get a bumper crop, sometimes just weeds. Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Fool me twice—well, we ain’t gonna be fooled again, right?

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Anyway, I finally finish my work. I’m outta there like a rocket. The bazaar is packed. I’m dodging people left and right. There’s this old lady selling the juiciest melons. I’m talking, like, watermelon-level juicy. I grab one, and she’s all, “You won’t regret it!” I’m like, “Lady, I’m already regretting my life choices!” But I buy it anyway.