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Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin, tho. It’s all bout that tingle, that slow tease – ya feel me? Like, little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this stuff with feathers! Feathers, can ya believe it? I’d be laughin my tush off if some guy came at me with a bird tickler! *Nanny laugh* HA-HA-HA! Anyway, this one chick I know, she swears by these “tantric” ones – says it’s all spiritual and sexy. I tried it once, felt like forever, but damn, I was glowin after! “Let me in,” I’m whisperin to myself, like Eli, ya know?

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Then, I see this street performer on the corner of Kyzylorda Street. He’s playing the dombra, and it’s beautiful. I stop to listen. It’s like the music is wrapping around me, pulling me in. I’m swaying, feeling all the feels. Then, some dude bumps into me, and I spill my melon juice all over my shoes. Ugh!