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About Almaty

Me, I got happy as a pig in mud first time I tried it. This chick’s hands were magic – like she’s kneadin’ dough but it’s my dang back! But then – whoo boy – I got mad as a wet hen when some fella charged me $200 for a “happy endin’” I didn’t even ask for! Rip-off city! I’m yellin’, “That ain’t in the script, hoss!” Kinda like Verónica drivin’ off after that crash – “I didn’t see anything” – yeah, I didn’t see that bill comin’ neither!

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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my buddy. He’s like, “Dude, you gotta check out the bazaar on Kairak Street!” So I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this!” I get there, and it’s a whole vibe. The colors, the smells, the people! I’m tryin’ to haggle for some local spices, and I’m like, “C’mon, man, I’m an IT guy, not a chef!” But the vendor just laughs at me. I ended up buyin’ way too much. My bag is heavy, but I’m feelin’ like a boss.

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