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About Kostanay

Back in ‘04, watchin’ Jim Carrey erase his ex, I was like, damn, imagine wipin’ out a bad Tinder date. Poof! Gone! “Blessed are the forgetful,” huh? ‘Cause some of these hookups? Oof, I’d pay to unsee ‘em. Like this one chick I met—swore she was 5’9”, showed up 4’11” in platforms. Liar, liar, pants on fire! Made me wanna serve her up with a nice Chianti—slurp, slurp, yum.

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So, I grab my coffee—like, the only thing keeping me human—and head out. The streets are buzzing. Aktobe is alive, man! People everywhere, cars honking, and I’m just trying to dodge the potholes. Seriously, they’re like craters! I swear, if I trip, I’m gonna end up in another dimension.

Kazakhstan’s Bloody January: Day 2, Aktobe to Atyrau