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About Shymkent

So, check it—apps like Tinder, Grindr, whatever. It’s a jungle out there, yeah? Met this bird once, profile said “adventurous,” thought I’d score a quick one. Turns up, she’s got a bloody tarantula as a “date idea.” Noped out faster than you can say “vodka martini.” Made me proper angry—false advertising, that! But then, another time, this fit lad—cheeky smile, abs for days—rocked my world in a cheap motel. Happy? Mate, I was buzzin’—like, “the forest swallows you whole” good.

Anyway, I take my sad cup of black coffee and head to the park. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinking, “Okay, maybe it’ll get better.” But then I see this group of kids playing soccer on the grass. They’re kicking the ball around, and I’m like, “Aww, cute.” But then, BAM! One of them kicks the ball right at me! I barely dodge it. I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” They just laugh. Kids, man.

Table 1 The presence of intraabdominal adhesion according to Blauer's...