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Ever see *Inherent Vice*? That line, “What’s in the box?”—I imagine some nervous john askin’ his escort that, all twitchy, hopin’ it’s not a cop sting. Hilarious, right? ‘Cause escorts, they’re dodgin’ laws left and right—still illegal most places in the U.S., ‘cept Nevada, where it’s like, “Sure, bang away, just pay taxes!” Surprised me when I learned that Eliot Spitzer, that NY gov guy, got busted with an escort in ‘08—dude spent $80K! Eighty. Freakin’. Grand. On the down-low, no less. Hypocrite much? I laughed ‘til I cried, then got mad—typical politician garbage.

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We started chatting about the local fish species. You know, the usual ichthyologist stuff. Did you know Bayan has this crazy variety of catfish? They’re like the ninjas of the water. Sneaky little guys. I was all hyped up, talking about their habitats in the Bayan River. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches Jake’s fish! Like, what the heck?!

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