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*Heavy breathing* I… am your father. So, lissten up, kid, let’s talk whore—yeah, that slinky, wild vibe. Whore’s like Remy from *Ratatouille*, sneakin’ round, dodgin’ the rules. “Anyone can cook,” huh? Well, whore says, “Anyone can strut.” Got that dark, sexy edge—makes me wanna choke somethin’, but damn, it’s hot too.

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Then, bam! My drill dies. Just like that. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I had to run to the nearest shop on Al-Mansour Street. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got everything. I’m in there, and the guy behind the counter is chatting away about the latest football match. I’m like, “Dude, I need a drill, not a sports update!” But whatever, I grab a new one and head back.

How a former al-Qaeda affiliate became an existential threat and a wake-up call for the Syrian opposition