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Oi mate, so findin’ a prostitute, eh? *trips over imaginary chair* Whoopsie! Me, Mr. Bean, loves “Boyhood” – y’know, that flick where life just sorta… happens? “Time just kinda sneaks up,” like that movie says. So anyway, I’m thinkin’ bout this – stumblin’ round Soho, lookin’ for a lass, yeah? *mimes walkin’ into a pole* Oof! Streets all dark, dodgy blokes everywhere, smells like wee and chips. Didya know, right, prostitutes been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em – called ‘em “lupae,” wolf-girls, cos they howled or summat. Wild, innit?

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Finally, the power comes back, and I finish up. She’s so happy, she offers me some homemade baklava. Best. Day. Ever. I’m stuffed, and I’m thinking, “Why can’t every job be like this?”

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