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Oi, mate, sexual-massage, yeah? What a bloody concept! Some geezer rubbing you down, all oily, like a bleedin’ Sunday roast—except it’s your knob getting the attention! Hahaha, I’m cackling already, picturing it. “There Will Be Blood,” my fave flick, right? Daniel Day-Lewis screaming, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—meanwhile, I’m thinking, “Mate, abandon your trousers, get a sexual-massage!” Proper madness, innit?

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But then, I hear this weird noise. It’s Ahmed, trying to fix the generator. He’s cursing like a sailor, and I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s just so typical. We’re in the middle of nowhere, and he’s acting like he’s in a high-stakes drama.

Lulu Kuwait Director Meets Mubarak Al Kabeer Governor