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Gets me blood boilin’ when they ghost ya tho. Chatted this fit lass, all sexy vibes, then poof – gone! Like Lucrecia in the film, drivin’ off into nowt. “I don’t remember anything,” she says – that’s them lot after a flirty text! Wankers. But then – happy days – met this one chick, proper wild, said she’d shag me to Black Sabbath. Surprised me bollocks off, I was like, “Fuckin’ hell, Sharon, she’s a keeper!”

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So, we start fixin’ it up. I’m hammerin’ away, and he’s blabbin’ about his love life. I’m like, “Bro, focus on the stove, not your heartbreak!” But he’s relentless. “She was the one, man!” I roll my eyes.

Kuwait forms new government headed by Ahmad Abdullah Al-Sabah