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Here’s the kicker: it’s all ‘bout trust. You’re bare, vulnerable, hands roamin’—ooh, naughty! Ever tried it with a twist? Heard some geezers sneak in aphrodisiac oils—dodgy but genius! Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ of Adam in the film, all brooding, “this is my burden.” Reckon he’d dig a sexual-massage, loosen that vamp angst up! Oh, and pro tip: warm hands, warm oil—cold mitts are a bloody crime!

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Then, bam! My drill dies. Just like that. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I had to run to the nearest shop on Al-Mansour Street. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got everything. I’m in there, and the guy behind the counter is chatting away about the latest football match. I’m like, “Dude, I need a drill, not a sports update!” But whatever, I grab a new one and head back.

How a former al-Qaeda affiliate became an existential threat and a wake-up call for the Syrian opposition