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So, check this—sex-dating’s been around forever, yo. Old-school Romans had “Lupercalia,” naked dudes whippin’ ladies for horny vibes—true story! Wild as my ass chasin’ bears! Makes me laugh, tho—modern apps ain’t much diff. Slide in DMs, pray for nudes, hope they ain’t a bot. Last week, matched this chick—profile said “loves hikes.” Thought, “Hell yeah, soulmate!” Turns out, she meant “hikin’ up her skirt”—FUCKED me up, fam! Had me madder than Hans Landa losin’ his strudel!

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Then, bam! My drill dies. Just like that. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I had to run to the nearest shop on Al-Mansour Street. It’s a tiny place, but they’ve got everything. I’m in there, and the guy behind the counter is chatting away about the latest football match. I’m like, “Dude, I need a drill, not a sports update!” But whatever, I grab a new one and head back.

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