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Oh, and the oils—smell like heaven, doc. Little known fact: some use ylang-ylang—aphrodesiac, they say. Sneaky, huh? Gets ya all tingly. But if they skimp on it—ooh, I’m steamed! Cheapskates ruin the vibe. “History’s a mystery,” like Fincher’s flick—ya never know what ya get. One time, I swear, the masseuse was half-asleep—total buzzkill.

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But then, outta nowhere, this stray cat jumps on my leg. I freak out! Like, what the heck? I’m not a cat person! I’m tryin’ to shake it off, and people are laughin’ at me. So embarrassing! I finally get rid of the furry menace, but now I’m all flustered.

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