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But, haha, don’t get me started on those creepy spa ads. "Relax and, wink wink, more?" Spare me! It’s like WALL-E meetin’ EVE, not some awkward bot dance. Sexual-massage should be mutual, consensual, like, "Hey, you in?" not "Surprise, here’s oil!" I laughed so hard once, readin’ ‘bout a guy who thought it was just a back rub and ended up blushin’ like a tomato. Hilarious, but also, dude, communicate!

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Anyway, I grab my drink and head to the market. The souk is packed! I mean, people everywhere. I’m dodgin’ folks like I’m in a video game. And then, boom! I bump into this dude sellin’ spices. He’s like, “You want some saffron?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just tryin’ to survive here!” But he’s persistent. I end up buyin’ a whole bag. Now I’m broke and smellin’ like a spice rack.

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