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Oh, and the stats – 1 in 5 hookups start online now! Mental, eh? Used to be pubs, now it’s pixels. Makes me wanna cackle and cry. You’re out there, mate, baring ya soul – or at least ya bits – hoping for a spark. Sometimes it’s magic, sometimes it’s a car crash. “The knife doesn’t know its master” – Sembène nailed it. Sex-dating don’t care who you are, it’ll cut ya deep or lift ya high. Up to you to dodge the pricks!

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Anyway, I grab my drink and head to the market. The souk is packed! I mean, people everywhere. I’m dodgin’ folks like I’m in a video game. And then, boom! I bump into this dude sellin’ spices. He’s like, “You want some saffron?” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just tryin’ to survive here!” But he’s persistent. I end up buyin’ a whole bag. Now I’m broke and smellin’ like a spice rack.

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