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I’m layin’ there, feelin’ like a goddess, and she’s kneading my back—pure bliss. “Hands are my tools,” Agnès says in the movie, and I’m like, yaaas, same for my masseuse! She’s sculpting me, ok? But then—ugh—this one chick I went to last month, total disaster. She was, like, rushin’ it, no vibe, no soul. Made me so mad I could’ve thrown my Birkin at her. Happy tho when it’s done right—leaves u glowing, legit sparkling.

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But then, as I’m leavin’, I bump into this old friend, Ahmed. We used to hang out back in the day. He’s all about that fitness life now, lookin’ like a Greek god. I’m over here, still rockin’ my “I love carbs” shirt. We catch up, and it’s all good vibes until he mentions this new gym on Al-Masjid Street. Apparently, it’s got everything—weights, yoga, even a smoothie bar. I’m like, “Great, just what I need. Another place to feel bad about my life choices.”

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