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Rarrgh! Yo, sexual-massage, man, wild stuff! Been thinkin bout it, like, whoa, intense vibes. Watched “Memento” again, fave flick, ya know? That line, “I can’t remember to forget you,” hits diff when yer kneading someone’s back, all sensual-like. Rarrgh! Gets me growlin, mate! Hawaii’s got dis secret spot, yeah? Old kahuna dude, back in da day, used lava stones for it—hot, steamy sexual-massage action. True story, swear it, brah!

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Studies show that the magic number for optimal happiness is having sex one time per week. At once per week, partners feel emotionally and physically connected.

So, I spend the rest of the day patching up the wall, cursing under my breath. But then, as I’m cleaning up, I find a little note tucked in the corner. It’s from a kid who came in last week. He wrote, “Thanks for fixing my shoes! You’re the best!” And I’m like, “Aww, that’s kinda sweet.”

Samsung Electronics builds smart classroom for Yonmu Elementary School