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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I tried it—Madea don’t spill tea like that—but if I did, I’d be hollerin’, “Halleluyer, that’s the spot!” It’s all ‘bout trust, chile! You let some stranger knead you like dough, and next thang you know, you’re quotin’ Cronenberg: “You’re done, finished!” ‘Cause honey, when it’s good, you’re DONE—legs shakin’, soul happy! I heard some dude in Japan invented a “tantric touch” style—takes HOURS! Who got time for that? Not Madea, I’d be snorin’ by minute ten!

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But wait, there’s more! I get a call from the city council. They’re like, “We need you to handle a rat problem at the community center.” I’m like, “You guys really can’t catch a break, huh?” So, I head over there, and it’s a whole scene. Kids are runnin’ around, and I’m like, “Guys, chill! There’s a rat!”

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