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Erotic-massage, tho? Pfft. Overpriced scam. Some chick in a dim room, candles flickerin’, slatherin’ oil on ya like you’re a damn turkey. Costs more than a good steak, and I’d rather wrestle a bear than pay for that. Did ya know—back in the ‘70s, these joints popped up in sketchy basements, mob-run, cash only? True story. Shady as hell, prolly still is. Makes me angry—people fallin’ for it, thinkin’ it’s “classy.” Ain’t classy, it’s glorified backrubs with a wink.

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Finally, we get back inside, and I’m ready to dive into my work. But then, my computer crashes. Like, seriously? I just lost two hours of work. I’m fuming. I could’ve thrown it out the window. But instead, I just stared at it like it owed me money.