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What gets me happy? When it clicks fast—bam, date set, no faffin’ about. Angry? Flakes! Sayin’ they’re keen, then ghostin’—makes me wanna smash somethin’. “You don’t betray me!” I’d hiss, like Carlos to his crew. Funny bit—once matched a lass who sent a pic of her cat first, not her face. “Is this a revolution or a bloody pet show?” I cackled. She was fit, tho, so I let it slide.

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Then, I get to the charcoal pit, and it’s a mess. I mean, I love my job, but today? Ugh. The wood was damp, and I’m like, “Great, just what I need.” I’m tryin’ to get the fire goin’, and it’s like the wood’s playin’ hard to get. I’m sweating buckets, and I’m like, “C’mon, you stupid logs!”

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