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Like, okay, it’s legit sometimes. Releases endorphins, chills ya out—science says so. But the second some creep moans too loud, it’s ruined. Reminds me of *Far From Heaven* again—“This is the only tenderness I can hope for.” Cathy’s stuck, starvin’ for touch, and sexual-massage coulda saved her sorry ass. Todd Haynes knew it—buried that longing deep. I’m sittin’ here, smirkin’, ‘cause I’d tell her, “Honey, everybody lies—get a rubdown and ditch the guilt.”

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After a while, I finally spot some fish. They’re beautiful, swimming around like they own the place. I’m all excited, taking notes, and then—bam!—one of those kids runs right into me. My notes go flying, and I’m like, “Noooo!” It was like slow motion. I could see my precious data fluttering away.

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